Forever In Our Hearts

This week, I received the devastating news that a friend of mine had passed away. For days, I have been bawling my eyes out at this turn of events trying to find a way to cope. I am fortunate and exceedingly grateful to have a group of friends to lean on and go through this with that have also had the great pleasure of knowing him. Together, we have been sharing photos, videos, stories, and memories with one another to keep this wonderful man alive in our hearts and souls. 

Some of you may have known Kenneth McAlpine from the phenomenal duo that was Team Give'r on Amazing Race, but we knew him from college and residence life as RA's (Resident Advisor's), and having grown to become a working family. 

This man was a force to be reckoned with, and while he joined out staff a little late, I am not exaggerating when I say it took Mere Moments to catch up it terms of bonding and team building. That's just how he was, his extreme energy and enthusiasm drew you in and held you willingly captive. He showed you that in every moment, there could be adventure. In every moment, there could be fun. In every moment, there could be human connection.

My fondest memories with Kenneth were not limited to our adventures at training camp or his silliness with fake hillbilly teeth that he flashed at unsuspecting drivers on his way to Prom Bowling, but also in work tasks that could have been boring. Doing rounds of the building until 2am was a thrill with Ken because you were always either deep in meaningful discussion, or singing Disney songs and laughing off teenagers getting rowdy and needing a few policy reminders. 

Ken lived life to the fullest in every moment, he didn't have time for social doubt or for negativity of any kind, and he certainly never had a negative word to say about anyone. He taught everyone he encountered, even if they didn't realize it at the time. 

Most of you never knew Ken, and I can honestly say that the thought that you never will is currently bringing on a new bout of tears as I write this, but I hope that you have encountered someone like him and I hope you remember to treasure them. More importantly, I hope you make a point to learn from them. 

A conversation last night with one of my colleagues of the time who also knew Ken, made me realize that Ken didn't only live life to the fullest but lived his Best life. Upon hearing the news, and once shock began to lift (though I don't think the shock has truly passed for any of us just yet) she asked herself "Am I living my Best life?" I think we should all be asking ourselves this. 

Not just if we are living life to the fullest in terms of having adventures and following our dreams, but if we are living our Best lives. Are we being kind to one another, are we affecting those around us in a positive light, are we helping people, and are we making a difference? Ken was.

Now, I'm not going to go on much longer spouting memories of Lion King themed improvised staff musicals, or kayaking adventures to find clam shells, because these memories won't mean much to those who didn't know him, but what I will do is issue a two part challenge to all of you who are reading this:

  1. Work to live you BEST life. Find out what that means to you, and get out there and GIVE'R.
  2. Do a mental survey of the people you have known in your life. Among them you will find a light, someone who shined and brought laughter to your life that maybe you've lost touch with or don't talk to often enough. Identify those people and reach out. Tell them what they mean to the world, to those around them, to you. Re-connect with them. Don't let too much time go between you and the people you care about because they could be gone tomorrow. 

I'm lucky, one of my last conversations with Ken was telling him how amazing I thought he was and that I was proud of him, but I do regret that that conversation was months ago. Don't let yourself have the same regrets. 

Life is too short to put it off until tomorrow.

While we are all incredibly heartbroken from this loss, we carry Ken's memory forward with us in our stories and our actions. 

My sincerest condolences go out to all those who knew him, but most of all to his family who helped shape him into the incredible man he was. I thank you for that, I thank you for my friend. Also, to his best friend Ryan that I haven't had the pleasure of knowing but for whom I know the word brother was not nearly enough to describe how Ken felt about him.

Go forth and live your best lives, 
The Bra Street Rambler





Comments

  1. HelenSeptember 1, 2019 at 12:42 PM

    Thank you for being so open and honest and sharing how much he meant to you. It's hard to put into words what someone means to us... harder still to think about it if they've passed away and we've never gotten the chance to reconnect with them beforehand. You've put things in perspective for me sweetie and I hope that you've done the same for others. Thank you for being you! I love you xo and keep doing what you're doing��

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