The Bra Street Rambler

What is boomeranging you might ask? Think of a person who throws a boomerang. The boomerang goes flying from their hand in some opposite direction, the person puts out their hand and then just like that, the boomerang comes right back to them.  Boomeranging is when someone ghosts you, or otherwise walks out of your life under less than pleasant circumstances, throwing you away so to speak, only to come back later expecting you back in their lives as though nothing has happened.  This is something that can occur between friends, between a person and someone they were dating, or even between two individuals in a long term relationship.  More often than not, it happens with little to no thought on anyone’s part as all is quickly forgiven and forgotten, again and again.  It is something I believe people should be aware of so that they are better able to recognize it when it is happening to them. Not so that they can get angry with the individual doi...

Hello Bros and Bras! I do apologize for my lack of post last week, I was in the thick of my last few days of NaNoWriMo and am happy to say that I've succeeded in accomplishing my 50,000 word count in 30 days. What does this mean for you wonderful people? It means that that particular distraction in my life has ended for the year and that your Rambler has returned. Now, let us move on from that and attend to this week’s post, shall we? “At your absolute best, you still won't be good enough for the wrong person. At your worst, you'll still be worth it to the right person.” ―Karen Salmansohn We all experience moments in our lives when someone we care about makes a choice to walk out of our life. Often, this occurrence is followed by feelings of sadness and inadequacy as we repeatedly ask ourselves what we did wrong, why we weren’t good enough. We seek understanding where none is offered. We seek closure when there is none to be found. While this can be very u...

Last week, I posted my response to an image circulating on Facebook that caught my attention. This week, I would like to do the same with a different image. The image this time was of a surprised and puzzled man. It was captioned: “New studies suggest that men really don’t understand women’s emotions.” Rather than feeling upset this time, I laughed. I felt this should have been obvious and gone without saying.  I quickly re-posted with my own caption: No guff! Hint: take the time to explain and Help them understand instead of getting upset with them and taking the ‘if you don’t know, I’m not telling you’ approach. In general, men have a very different thought process. It’s not because they are trying to ignore how you feel, they simply don’t see things the same way. Get to know the men around you, some of them would genuinely like to understand women better. Far too often for my comfort, I have witnessed someone asking a sincere question, only to be shot down f...

The other day while taking a break from my writing, I was scanning my Facebook newsfeed and stumbled across an image a friend had posted that caught me the wrong way. The post said: "If I ask you how you're doing, please just say, "good" and move on‎. Don't start telling me shit." At first I was upset at what was being expressed because in my mind, if you don't want the answer simply don't ask the question. In other words, don't pretend you care, if you don't. Then I got to thinking, that's the mentality that has developed into the social norm, isn't it? How many of us are guilty of asking "how are you?" without being invested in the answer? How many of us ask because it's a habit we have developed in conversation? So much so that often we will ask someone how they are doing, they will return the question, and we will ask again despite having already gone through the formality moments ago. We ask but we do...

So as some of you may know, I am currently neck deep in NaNoWriMo. As such, my thoughts are continuously on my book and my word count. Unfortunately, it can be pretty difficult when we are in the midst of something we are fully and joyfully engaged in, to pull our minds out of it and concentrate on anything else. So rather than trying to write something else while distracted, I’ve decided to share a few of the tricks I’ve been using to write my 30 day novel with any other aspiring novelists out there.  In NaNoWriMo, you are either a Pantser or a Planner . You either take your chances in real time, or plan the heck out of everything. I my friends, am a Planner .  Some people can sit down and write out three chapters with very little effort, my best friend as well as my mentor seem to have this ability. Personally, I am easily distracted and am prone to writers block. Knowing this, I have decided to take an approach that better accommodates my personality to ge...

In my last two posts, I mentioned the importance of putting yourself first and of challenging yourself. Two things we often neglect in our lives as we face the turbulence of day to day trials and tribulations. Today however, I turn the tides. Rather than offering up my own words, perspectives, and stories, I challenge you to do so for yourself. I dare you to write down a goal, a challenge you are issuing to yourself - with a deadline. I am also challenging you to look through old photographs with the goal of inspiring yourself. Find a photo that to you represents a time when you accomplished something challenging, a time when you felt you did something well, or a photo that brings to you a sense of self directed pride. If you can, I ask that you have it printed and framed. Put it up somewhere that you will see it on a daily basis. If for whatever reason, you cannot print and frame it, I ask that you find another way of ensuring that you will see it on a regular basis. Y...

I recently posted on the importance of challenging yourself and mentioned that I have joined NaNoWriMo. A few weeks ago, friend and mentor had encouraged me to attend a couple writers’ workshops with her leading up to November 1st which was the official start date of the novel writers challenge. Part of this workshop included a small challenge that was issued to write a few paragraphs with only a topic, image, or sentiment as inspiration. It's fascinating how someone who gets frequent writers block such as myself, is suddenly capable of spurting out a page the moment a topic and deadline is provided. All that is needed is that verbalized challenge and off I go. Challenge accepted. It's the same with a canvas. The white fabric remains bare and sitting in a corner until the moment I say, okay I have two hours to do something right now. I think creativity is a lot like a jumping off a cliff in that sense.  You can be standing on a the rocky ledge overlooking the ...

I do apologize to my readers for the delay in posting, I have been both terribly busy and under some level of stress that required I take a little time for myself. As an apology for being away for a while, I offer up three days of posts back to back, albeit slightly smaller ones than usual. Furthermore, I would like to say how very sincerely I appreciate seeing consistent page views from around the world despite my absence. You are all absolutely amazing and humble this blogger to the very core. Thank you so very much. You are all the reason I continue to post. On that note, a while back I wrote a post on the importance of taking time to care for oneself. This goes beyond pampering yourself, and it goes beyond making time to relax. It is just as important to make waves when the time calls for it. To stand firmly on your feet and say this is who I am, this is what I need in my life, and this is what I am going to do about it.  Too often, the nice guys finish last bec...

"Traditions are the guideposts driven deep in our subconscious minds. The most powerful ones are the ones we can't even describe, aren't even aware of."  -Ellen Goodman Some people have lots of traditions, some do not. Some have all kinds of family traditions, some only have those traditions revolving around the holidays. I myself cannot say I have many traditions however, I do have one tradition that brings a smile to my face every year. Thanksgiving with my best friend Esther. It all started in college when my new friend realized she would not be able to make it home for Thanksgiving. I could hardly leave her there alone in residence missing the good old family scene so instead, I invited her to join my family on my aunt and uncles farm. What a blast that turned out to be as we helped out with the chores, the cooking, and even the dishes as we sang along to Great Big Sea. We enjoyed silly family photos up in big trees, we practiced our archery, and w...

If you’re the creative type who bores easily, you probably already understand the importance of challenging yourself. You’ll understand the need for trying new things in order to escape the lull. When I’m not finding some new way of challenging myself, I fall into a lull and develop boring habits such as Netflix binging day after day. Knowing this, I’m always finding some new thing to focus on from learning to rock climb to learning to pick a lock, from studying mythology to studying psychology, from figuring out a new art/craft technique to writing a blog, and the list goes on, and on, and on. Now I have my eyes set on a new challenge and if any of my Bros and Bras fancy themselves writers, it is a challenge I forward on to you. NaNoWriMo. For those of you who have never heard of this, it is National Novel Writers Month. A challenge issued to writers with a goal of completing a 50,000+ word novel in 30 days. This challenge takes place in November, with September and Octo...

If you've read my other blog posts, you know I try to strive for equality. Not in the sense of feminists poorly portrayed in social media, but in the sense that all genders must put forth an effort to recognize each other and the ways in which we can contribute to a better society. Now, the jury is still out on whether or not I'm succeeding in this effort, but the intent is there. Something I've noticed time and time again is the expectation that men are responsible for wooing their partners. It is portrayed this way in the movies we watch and the books we read, and while I certainly have no qualms as a woman with being wooed, I certainly have a problem with women having an expectation of men for favours that they themselves have no intent of returning. While I recognize that this is certainly not the case for all women, and a great big kudos to those who defy it, to see a woman asking/demanding her partner to purchase things for her at the store, complaining...

Well Bros and Bras, it seems I've gone a little while without writing a shout out to men post and that simply won't do now will it? Today I feel a need to remind society of the precarious line men are forced to walk when it comes to women. I say this in a very general way of course as women can just as easily be put in the same position.  I'm talking about putting oneself out there. Unfortunately, it would seem few people recognize the courage it can take to approach someone they are interested in when it's not them personally putting themselves out there.  This past weekend while I was out with the girls, I was reminded of this as three guys approached us at the end of the night (we were three girls). I'm not sure if other bars and clubs do the same but around here the last song played is usually a slower song. These three guys approached us and while they all looked pretty nervous, one spoke up asking if, seeing as it was a slow song, would we care ...