Ghosted

Hello Bros and Bras! I do apologize for my lack of post last week, I was in the thick of my last few days of NaNoWriMo and am happy to say that I've succeeded in accomplishing my 50,000 word count in 30 days. What does this mean for you wonderful people? It means that that particular distraction in my life has ended for the year and that your Rambler has returned. Now, let us move on from that and attend to this week’s post, shall we?

“At your absolute best, you still won't be good enough for the wrong person. At your worst, you'll still be worth it to the right person.” ―Karen Salmansohn

We all experience moments in our lives when someone we care about makes a choice to walk out of our life. Often, this occurrence is followed by feelings of sadness and inadequacy as we repeatedly ask ourselves what we did wrong, why we weren’t good enough. We seek understanding where none is offered. We seek closure when there is none to be found.

While this can be very upsetting and quite naturally so, it is not something that we can allow ourselves to endure for very long or we might miss out on enjoying the creation of new memories with those people in our lives who make a choice every day to stick around. Those people who not only think we are good enough, they also think we are entirely worth their time, and effort.

Deciding to make an effort to accept and let go can be particularly difficult when it regards someone of a romantic interest, or in some cases, a string of bad luck with people of interest. Especially when left in the dark as to any reasons for their departure or lack of effort. Difficult but as I often say in my posts, not impossible.

It can be so easy to let ourselves become jaded, to believe that we are cursed, jinxed, or simply undesirable. It can be easy to see ourselves as less than we are, to give in to low self esteem, and resign. But how often has ‘easy’ led to something worthwhile? Isn’t it much better to instead fight to remember who we are and what we strive for regardless of the people who decide we are not worth their time?

Recently, I was ghosted after what I thought was a particularly amazing date consisting of dinner, a movie (Arrival with Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner, is definitely making the Rambler Recommendations for this post), and Netflix snuggles. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, to be ghosted means to have someone suddenly stop initiating or responding to any form of communication. Not only was I ghosted, I was also stood up for plans for which I had put in effort to secure a shift change in order to be able to attend. A shift change that later left me in a particularly stressful time crunch that obviously no longer felt worth it.

Suffice to say, I was left feeling particularly crappy and at a complete loss for what had gone wrong. Now, I’m not the type of person to suddenly start thinking poorly of that person so soon after thinking so highly of them, I have no way of knowing what is going in their life, what kind of stress they may be facing. I started first with trying to extend the benefit of the doubt to them. When that wore off, I simply accepted that my opinion of that night was not reciprocated. At least mentally that is, emotionally I still felt rejected, and like shit. Let’s face it, I’m human and very few of us are capable of handling rejection well.

But the truth is, as much as it sucks when I allow myself to stop and think about it, as much as it sucks to have that lingering question 'what did I do wrong?' cross my mind, I’ve survived far bigger tragedies in my life than some guy deciding I’m not worth his time. My time is far better served focusing on things that make me happy, and goals I can accomplish for myself.

Again, I’m only human so sometimes that conviction wavers but damnit, I am woman, hear me roar!

So what now, you may ask? Easy. Good times spent seeking distractions with good friends when they are available, or chicken wings and action flicks, candle lit bubbles baths, and general self pampering when I'm alone. No man is worth being reduced to sobbing over a bucket of ice cream while watching sappy movies.  

So remember Bros and Bras, if they treat you like you're not worth their time, then they sure as heck aren't worth yours! Give in to your emotions when you need to but always remember that eventually you owe it to yourself to lift your chin back up and remind yourself who you are and what you're worth.

Cheers!

The Bra Street Rambler

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