Emotions on High
Last week, I mentioned using my own emotions as research for my books. This week, I'd like to take a moment to elaborate on this not only from a writer's stand point, but also in self exploration.
For anyone who knows me, or has spent enough time reading my posts, I'm definitely known as an emotion based individual. I feel things deeply and I am true to those feelings. I am a firm believer that exploring and understanding my feelings allows me to better understand myself as an individual and if I can be honest with myself, then I can also be more honest with those around me about who I am.
So how does knowing I'm hurt or sad, angry or happy, anxious or scared help me to better understand myself? By accepting how I am feeling, giving myself permission to feel it, and then asking why I'm feeling it. I ask myself if I am feeling sad because of the triggering event alone, or if I am perhaps hurting more deeply because of a build up of instances that lead to that moment. I look deeper, and I look back. I find out if this one thing reminds me of other things. I ask myself if I am really sad, or if I'm feeling hurt, betrayed, deserted, etc.
I dig deeper into my emotions, and I delve into my own history.
Now, how does it apply to writing? One, it reminds us that the characters we create come with their own range of emotions that extend far beyond the moment in which we are writing them into. That is to say, emotions are complex. They combine themselves into hybrid emotions, and they often come with a backstory allowing for a character with far more depth.
For instance:
She wasn't just sad, she was angry at herself for allowing herself to believe he would stay. She felt betrayed because he had convinced her he would. Promised her even. She felt hurt that he wasn't the first,...and she felt hopeless because she doubted he would be the last.
The second way this knowledge applies is that in allowing ourselves to be more aware of how we are feeling in the moment and in our memories, we can explore the multiple ways emotions are communicated.
What do I mean by this?
If I give you the emotion 'sad', how would you convey that emotion? Most would think of tears, however there are a lot more ways in which to communicate sadness because there are many more ways that we ourselves express it.
Think back to an instance when you were sad. You may have cried, but was there anything else that happened to you physically? Did your throat tighten and ache? Did you sob? Was your nose running? Did your chest ache, your lungs gasp for air, your chest heave?
Is there anything you did in response to this? Perhaps you argued with yourself to stop crying. You might have even gotten upset with yourself, potentially throwing a pillow or wanting to punch something. Maybe you instead became weakened by the emotion and began to tremble. You might have sunk down into a chair, onto your bed, or onto the floor, drained from it all. It's possible that you headed for the shower where you could hide your tears among the flowing water. What happened after that? I myself often need a nap after I've been particularly distressed or distraught over something. Other times, I go into a stress induced cleaning frenzy, determined to become focused on anything but that which has troubled me.
My point is, life translates better than anything else.
You don't have to live through the experiences your characters have, but if you pin point which emotions those instances may evoke, you can identify which life experiences caused you to feel similar emotions and draw on those.
So, how are you feeling right now? What range of emotions did you experience today? Your challenge this week will be to take the time to explore your emotions. Good luck!
Now before I lay my head to sleep, I leave you all with this wish: May you find the happiness your sorrows have taught you to appreciate, and experience it to its fullest.
Cheers!
The Bra Street Rambler
For anyone who knows me, or has spent enough time reading my posts, I'm definitely known as an emotion based individual. I feel things deeply and I am true to those feelings. I am a firm believer that exploring and understanding my feelings allows me to better understand myself as an individual and if I can be honest with myself, then I can also be more honest with those around me about who I am.
So how does knowing I'm hurt or sad, angry or happy, anxious or scared help me to better understand myself? By accepting how I am feeling, giving myself permission to feel it, and then asking why I'm feeling it. I ask myself if I am feeling sad because of the triggering event alone, or if I am perhaps hurting more deeply because of a build up of instances that lead to that moment. I look deeper, and I look back. I find out if this one thing reminds me of other things. I ask myself if I am really sad, or if I'm feeling hurt, betrayed, deserted, etc.
I dig deeper into my emotions, and I delve into my own history.
Now, how does it apply to writing? One, it reminds us that the characters we create come with their own range of emotions that extend far beyond the moment in which we are writing them into. That is to say, emotions are complex. They combine themselves into hybrid emotions, and they often come with a backstory allowing for a character with far more depth.
For instance:
She wasn't just sad, she was angry at herself for allowing herself to believe he would stay. She felt betrayed because he had convinced her he would. Promised her even. She felt hurt that he wasn't the first,...and she felt hopeless because she doubted he would be the last.
The second way this knowledge applies is that in allowing ourselves to be more aware of how we are feeling in the moment and in our memories, we can explore the multiple ways emotions are communicated.
What do I mean by this?
If I give you the emotion 'sad', how would you convey that emotion? Most would think of tears, however there are a lot more ways in which to communicate sadness because there are many more ways that we ourselves express it.
Think back to an instance when you were sad. You may have cried, but was there anything else that happened to you physically? Did your throat tighten and ache? Did you sob? Was your nose running? Did your chest ache, your lungs gasp for air, your chest heave?
Is there anything you did in response to this? Perhaps you argued with yourself to stop crying. You might have even gotten upset with yourself, potentially throwing a pillow or wanting to punch something. Maybe you instead became weakened by the emotion and began to tremble. You might have sunk down into a chair, onto your bed, or onto the floor, drained from it all. It's possible that you headed for the shower where you could hide your tears among the flowing water. What happened after that? I myself often need a nap after I've been particularly distressed or distraught over something. Other times, I go into a stress induced cleaning frenzy, determined to become focused on anything but that which has troubled me.
My point is, life translates better than anything else.
You don't have to live through the experiences your characters have, but if you pin point which emotions those instances may evoke, you can identify which life experiences caused you to feel similar emotions and draw on those.
So, how are you feeling right now? What range of emotions did you experience today? Your challenge this week will be to take the time to explore your emotions. Good luck!
Now before I lay my head to sleep, I leave you all with this wish: May you find the happiness your sorrows have taught you to appreciate, and experience it to its fullest.
Cheers!
The Bra Street Rambler
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