Disconnect to Connect
How often would you say you check your smartphone? Have you ever taken realistic stock of the frequency at which you do this while in the presence of friends?
Last year, I posted an article about the importance of getting disconnected after having forgotten my phone at a friends for the length of my trip to Peru (Fearfully Unplugged). In this post, I explained that though it was somewhat scary to be without a phone that had essentially become my everything, it turned out to be a very beneficial and even liberating experience.
In all fairness, being without my phone last year was not a choice. I had forgotten it and I had to learn to make do. However, it is an entirely different story when your smartphone is in your hand and you are forced to face this dependence with conscious effort.
Take a moment if you will, to reflect on how often you check your phone in a day. How often do you do this while in the presence of a friend? I don't know about you but a month ago, my answer would have been a lot lower than the truth. I don't think a lot of us actually realize how much we do this until we have our phone set down and see others constantly checking theirs while we are trying to spend time with them.
Contrary to what seems to be widespread popular belief, this is not limited to a specific generation either. In the past, it might have been but now, the addiction has spread like wildfire. More and more frequently, I have had my phone put away only to look up and realize that many people of an older generation than I surround me and all have their eyes centred on their phones.
Smartphone tunnel vision is no longer an isolated incident in a specific demographic, it is now a widespread contagion among the masses and it would seem my generation is to blame for accepting it as the only means of communication we would recognize. First, we started by choosing msn over going out to meet up with out friends, than Facebook, and then we had the power to bring these types of social media with us while we were in the presence of our friends. Because you know, who needs the person in front of you when you have access to everyone else in the online world?
I'm not sure about you, but this is the not the legacy I wish for our generation to leave behind . I think it's fantastic that technology has come so far in our time but I also feel the sting of the side effects. It seems fewer people are able to connect on a personal level, our ability to empathize without emoji's has suffered and our desire to sit and simply enjoy each others company has become somewhat of a boring chore that requires we divide our attention between our friends and our screen time.
The other day, I decided to try spending my day limiting my interactions with my phone. I made plans to go out to sushi with a friend from high school (the very same one that made my beautiful Bra Street Rambler display) and catch up, we put our phones on silent and enjoyed our conversation to the fullest. We then continued to hang out at my place and paint, once again only resorting to our phones to let her significant other know that she was going to be home later than expected. After that, I decided to go out dancing with friends. I didn't take my phone out for photos but instead committed to enjoying the experience as best I could.
Now and again, I would slip up and reach for my phone but the moment I was faced with the screens glow, I reminded myself that I was there to enjoy the music, the company of good friends, and some fun times on the dance floor. I reminded myself that if Facebook was that important, I could have stayed home and committed to that but that was not the plan I had made for the night because I wanted to connect, actually connect, with the people in my life, not a glowing screen in my hand.
I must admit, the day I put down my smartphone was the best I'd had in a while. Yes, I am more painfully aware now of my friends phone usage when I am spending time with them, but when I am with a friend who also has their phone put away, I know that we are connecting that much better. We have each others undivided attention and rather than posting things to be reminded of them one year from now on Facebook memories, we are creating even better memories to be reminded of them every time we hang out and have an actual conversation.
I am now of the belief that the individuals in our society should only connect to one thing at a time. We can choose to either connect to the world in our immediate vicinity, or to the world accessed through our data plans.
Personally, after experiencing what life can be like with friends of a like mind ignoring Youtube, Facebook and data plans for each others company, I know I'm going to make more of an effort to say goodbye to online friends when physical friends are in front of me.
In all fairness, being without my phone last year was not a choice. I had forgotten it and I had to learn to make do. However, it is an entirely different story when your smartphone is in your hand and you are forced to face this dependence with conscious effort.
Take a moment if you will, to reflect on how often you check your phone in a day. How often do you do this while in the presence of a friend? I don't know about you but a month ago, my answer would have been a lot lower than the truth. I don't think a lot of us actually realize how much we do this until we have our phone set down and see others constantly checking theirs while we are trying to spend time with them.
Contrary to what seems to be widespread popular belief, this is not limited to a specific generation either. In the past, it might have been but now, the addiction has spread like wildfire. More and more frequently, I have had my phone put away only to look up and realize that many people of an older generation than I surround me and all have their eyes centred on their phones.
Smartphone tunnel vision is no longer an isolated incident in a specific demographic, it is now a widespread contagion among the masses and it would seem my generation is to blame for accepting it as the only means of communication we would recognize. First, we started by choosing msn over going out to meet up with out friends, than Facebook, and then we had the power to bring these types of social media with us while we were in the presence of our friends. Because you know, who needs the person in front of you when you have access to everyone else in the online world?
I'm not sure about you, but this is the not the legacy I wish for our generation to leave behind . I think it's fantastic that technology has come so far in our time but I also feel the sting of the side effects. It seems fewer people are able to connect on a personal level, our ability to empathize without emoji's has suffered and our desire to sit and simply enjoy each others company has become somewhat of a boring chore that requires we divide our attention between our friends and our screen time.
The other day, I decided to try spending my day limiting my interactions with my phone. I made plans to go out to sushi with a friend from high school (the very same one that made my beautiful Bra Street Rambler display) and catch up, we put our phones on silent and enjoyed our conversation to the fullest. We then continued to hang out at my place and paint, once again only resorting to our phones to let her significant other know that she was going to be home later than expected. After that, I decided to go out dancing with friends. I didn't take my phone out for photos but instead committed to enjoying the experience as best I could.
Now and again, I would slip up and reach for my phone but the moment I was faced with the screens glow, I reminded myself that I was there to enjoy the music, the company of good friends, and some fun times on the dance floor. I reminded myself that if Facebook was that important, I could have stayed home and committed to that but that was not the plan I had made for the night because I wanted to connect, actually connect, with the people in my life, not a glowing screen in my hand.
I must admit, the day I put down my smartphone was the best I'd had in a while. Yes, I am more painfully aware now of my friends phone usage when I am spending time with them, but when I am with a friend who also has their phone put away, I know that we are connecting that much better. We have each others undivided attention and rather than posting things to be reminded of them one year from now on Facebook memories, we are creating even better memories to be reminded of them every time we hang out and have an actual conversation.
I am now of the belief that the individuals in our society should only connect to one thing at a time. We can choose to either connect to the world in our immediate vicinity, or to the world accessed through our data plans.
Personally, after experiencing what life can be like with friends of a like mind ignoring Youtube, Facebook and data plans for each others company, I know I'm going to make more of an effort to say goodbye to online friends when physical friends are in front of me.
Let's make sure that the legacy we leave behind is the technology and not the detriment it caused to our ability to forge deeper connections.
Let us disconnect in order to better connect.
Let us disconnect in order to better connect.
Cheers!
The Bra Street Rambler
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