Mind Monsters
None of us are strangers to fear, we all have boggarts in our closets waiting to catch us off guard and sometimes it can be quite difficult to think of something funny to defeat it with. I mean, if only life were as easy as picturing Professor Snape in an ugly vulture hat! Alas, things are not so simple.
When we are young, we fear the monsters in our closets and under our beds. As we grow up, we realize that our monsters have become far more dangerous because hiding under the blankets no longer hides us from them. No, as we get older we learn that the monsters are on the same side of the blanket. What used to be under our bed, is now all in our head.
Whether it be the fear that we will fail, the fear that we will disappoint, or the fear that we will be hurt, whether it be the fear of spiders, clowns, or even olives, when it comes to fear it is all the same. That anxiety that keeps building, the tight feeling in your throat, the nausea, the fight or flight feeling that leaves you antsy and on edge. It's horrible.
So how do you defeat a ghost in your head? A ghost that is affected by neither salt nor iron? How do you fight something when you can't lay fists on it?
You fight fire with fire.
If the monster is in your head, you must defeat the monster with your head. You must make a decision to acknowledge that the fear is there, figure out why it has taken up residence there, and decide how to proceed. You must decide that your willpower is stronger and more kick ass than any fear your mind could throw your way.
Some fears can be ignored, others can be fought with rationalizations, others must simply be conquered head on. Sometimes a combination is required, but never is the process easy so we must not disparage when conquering our fear takes a few attempts.
Can your fear be ignored? Does it cause you physical harm? Is it a feeling that just keeps nagging at you but has no real possibility of coming to pass? It is your head, tell your fear to get out and stay out. Yes, it may sneak through a window now and again but if you remain adamant that it is not welcome, keep tossing it out and locking the doors and windows, you'll find that more and more time passes before it is able to find a way back in and eventually it will get the hint and give up.
Can your fear be fought with logic? Is that noise you just heard in the darkness of your house really a vicious creature out to get you, or is it perhaps the fridge making sure your milk doesn't sour? Sometimes just figuring out what it is you are really afraid of is all it takes. Sometimes, figuring it out is only the first step and a fight is still required.
Strap on your combat boots, and come up with your game plan. Is your fear something that requires baby steps or a full on assault? Are you going to be the one to kill the spider this time? Or are you just going to give it it's space and rationalize that the spider, creepy as it may be in your head (though personally I find them adorable and hey, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Take that mosquitoes!) doesn't actually mean you any harm?
Are you going to accept that your ex was an exception and that not everyone is going to hurt you the way they did, or are you going to take baby steps and allow people to earn your trust again and prove that some people are genuinely decent people.
Are you going to let your fear of failure stop you from taking a chance? Or are you going to take a chance on yourself and prove to yourself that you can accomplish what you set out to do? If people are disappointed by the result, that is their problem. Give it your all and learn all that you can while you are at it in order to improve your chances of success next try.
Sometimes fears can be paralyzing, but if you can make the decision to fight back, if you can make the decision to counter psyching yourself out with telling yourself, ''Eff that, I can and will do this.'', that paralyses will wear off.
Again, maybe you will set out to kick fear in its sniveling backside and will only succeed in giving it a black eye, but hey, that's one more black eye than it had before! You may not have accomplished what you thought, but you will have accomplished something and baby steps do count.
Rather than allowing yourself to view it as a failed attempt, tell yourself: This time I made it -this- far, next try, I will double the progress. Baby steps may take a little longer, but they do get you there eventually and really, isn't eventually conquering a fear better than never having tried? Isn't it better than remaining a victim to the monsters in our heads?
Now, I am not saying that we should become complacent in baby steps. We shouldn't use them as excuses rather than the progress they are meant to represent. Moving your foot forward one centimeter and saying, ''There, I took a baby step. That's enough for today, leave me alone.'' isn't really putting forth any kind of effort. It is doing the bare minimum just to say you did.
If your first baby step is a centimeter, get it done. Let it sink in that you accomplished it, that it wasn't so bad, and try for an inch, then two inches.
Don't try to defeat one monster in your head only to allow another to conquer you. Make your decision to battle fear, don't let your own excuses prevent you from finishing the fight.
We are all afraid of something, and we are all just as capable of conquering our fears. Some of us will need a little more time and a few different methods but if we set our minds to it, we can get there.
Whether it be the fear that we will fail, the fear that we will disappoint, or the fear that we will be hurt, whether it be the fear of spiders, clowns, or even olives, when it comes to fear it is all the same. That anxiety that keeps building, the tight feeling in your throat, the nausea, the fight or flight feeling that leaves you antsy and on edge. It's horrible.
So how do you defeat a ghost in your head? A ghost that is affected by neither salt nor iron? How do you fight something when you can't lay fists on it?
You fight fire with fire.
If the monster is in your head, you must defeat the monster with your head. You must make a decision to acknowledge that the fear is there, figure out why it has taken up residence there, and decide how to proceed. You must decide that your willpower is stronger and more kick ass than any fear your mind could throw your way.
Some fears can be ignored, others can be fought with rationalizations, others must simply be conquered head on. Sometimes a combination is required, but never is the process easy so we must not disparage when conquering our fear takes a few attempts.
Can your fear be ignored? Does it cause you physical harm? Is it a feeling that just keeps nagging at you but has no real possibility of coming to pass? It is your head, tell your fear to get out and stay out. Yes, it may sneak through a window now and again but if you remain adamant that it is not welcome, keep tossing it out and locking the doors and windows, you'll find that more and more time passes before it is able to find a way back in and eventually it will get the hint and give up.
Can your fear be fought with logic? Is that noise you just heard in the darkness of your house really a vicious creature out to get you, or is it perhaps the fridge making sure your milk doesn't sour? Sometimes just figuring out what it is you are really afraid of is all it takes. Sometimes, figuring it out is only the first step and a fight is still required.
Strap on your combat boots, and come up with your game plan. Is your fear something that requires baby steps or a full on assault? Are you going to be the one to kill the spider this time? Or are you just going to give it it's space and rationalize that the spider, creepy as it may be in your head (though personally I find them adorable and hey, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Take that mosquitoes!) doesn't actually mean you any harm?
Are you going to accept that your ex was an exception and that not everyone is going to hurt you the way they did, or are you going to take baby steps and allow people to earn your trust again and prove that some people are genuinely decent people.
Are you going to let your fear of failure stop you from taking a chance? Or are you going to take a chance on yourself and prove to yourself that you can accomplish what you set out to do? If people are disappointed by the result, that is their problem. Give it your all and learn all that you can while you are at it in order to improve your chances of success next try.
Sometimes fears can be paralyzing, but if you can make the decision to fight back, if you can make the decision to counter psyching yourself out with telling yourself, ''Eff that, I can and will do this.'', that paralyses will wear off.
Again, maybe you will set out to kick fear in its sniveling backside and will only succeed in giving it a black eye, but hey, that's one more black eye than it had before! You may not have accomplished what you thought, but you will have accomplished something and baby steps do count.
Rather than allowing yourself to view it as a failed attempt, tell yourself: This time I made it -this- far, next try, I will double the progress. Baby steps may take a little longer, but they do get you there eventually and really, isn't eventually conquering a fear better than never having tried? Isn't it better than remaining a victim to the monsters in our heads?
Now, I am not saying that we should become complacent in baby steps. We shouldn't use them as excuses rather than the progress they are meant to represent. Moving your foot forward one centimeter and saying, ''There, I took a baby step. That's enough for today, leave me alone.'' isn't really putting forth any kind of effort. It is doing the bare minimum just to say you did.
If your first baby step is a centimeter, get it done. Let it sink in that you accomplished it, that it wasn't so bad, and try for an inch, then two inches.
Don't try to defeat one monster in your head only to allow another to conquer you. Make your decision to battle fear, don't let your own excuses prevent you from finishing the fight.
We are all afraid of something, and we are all just as capable of conquering our fears. Some of us will need a little more time and a few different methods but if we set our minds to it, we can get there.
So let me see your best game faces bros and bras! Are you going to let your fears conquer you? Or are you going to strap on your biggest baddest Doc Martens, be your own person, and kick some Mind Monster ass!?
Cheers!
The Bra Street Rambler
TBSR is almost at 20 posts, can you help me get 2000 views before then?! Like what you've read? Like, comment, and follow/subscribe! Show the bra some love on Blogger, Facebook, and Twitter! Thanks Bros and Bras!
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