It's Not What You Drive, It's What Drives You
Last week, I talked about working towards a better understanding of those around us in order to invite understanding and to feel less alone in this great big world, but that was only one part of the equation. Wouldn't it be easier for others to understand you if you were first capable of understanding yourself?
Now I know, a lot of you may say “What are you talking about? I know myself, I understand myself.” and while this may be true for some, it is far from being true for all. If you would have asked me just years ago if I knew myself, I would have said yes without hesitation and argued anyone who said otherwise. In fact, several years ago, someone very dear to me did ask me. They looked me in the eyes and asked “Who are you?” I of course, was confused and responded something along the lines of “I'm me, what do you mean?” But you see, he wasn't asking me what my name was, of what family I came from, or any of the topical definitions of self that one would ask a stranger who had just approached them, he was asking me what made me who I was, what drove me. What made me tick.
Looking back now, I would say that even though I thought I knew myself very well, the truth is I had only scratched the surface. I knew what I liked, what I didn't like, and what felt right, I even had an idea of what I wanted out of life. I did not however, know what drove me to do the things I do every day, to set the goals that I set for myself. 'It felt right' was my only response to myself. I knew I wanted children, and I knew I wanted a farm, I didn't have any real understanding of why.
You see, it doesn't matter what car you want to drive. The car is material and says only as much about the individual as what lurks beneath the decision. It's all fine and dandy to say that person has a Ferrari, they must be rich but the Ferrari is not who they are as an individual. Why a Ferrari? Is it because of the name? Because they want to seem substantial? Do they want to appear important? Even the answers to those questions do not truly say anything about the person. It's the why.
What drove this person to purchase, this need to display something about them?
What about the guy with a jeep? Yes, a jeep might be a pretty good indication that a person has a propensity for the great outdoors, but why? Is it because they were raised in such a way that encouraged it? Or where the raised in front of a television and refuse to be the person their parents were? Do they go out to have fun, or to leave behind and forget the stresses of a job that confines them to the indoors?
Too often we give ourselves a surface answer, a topical explanation that hardly covers who we are as an individual. Too often, a person grows bored with themselves to ask questions of themselves. They give up at I like red.
Often people around you are asked what they want from life, what drives them, how many of them say I dunno. How many just start listing random things: I want this kind of car, I want a dog, I just want to get through school,how many actually delve into the root of things. Do you?
So, ask yourself, how well do you know yourself? Can you look yourself in the mirror, and give yourself an honest response? How about an estimated percentage?
If the answer leaves room for discovery, if you care to dig deeper and really discover what makes you an individual, I wish you luck. Personally, I feel that we can never truly understand ourselves because there are always new circumstances arising that beg for new why's and new answers.
For those of you who wish to dive in and explore your own psyche but don't know where to start, here are a few things to consider;
What are your passions?
What are you good at, what do you love doing? What makes you happy in life and makes you a unique individual? What sets you apart?
What do you want?
What are your dreams and aspirations? Do you dream of being in a specific house, career, or financial standing?
What are your values?
What do you value and place above all else? What is important to you and guides you when making decisions? What marks the lines you will not cross in order to accomplish your goals? Is it family, friends, religion? Is it honesty, trust, communication? Is it your work ethic, dignity, honour, responsibility? What are your top three values? Which values fall secondary to those?
What drives you?
What inner desire makes you want the things out of life that you want? I want a farm, why? Is it because I get along well with animals and they are just so gosh darn cute? No. It's because I connect well with animals and feel that I can make a difference working with abused and forgotten creatures. It's because I long to feel like I am making a difference in this world and I believe that I have specific talents that can be applied to this goal in order to do so. Yes, patience, understanding, dedication, and perseverance can be used in every day settings, but in order to truly make a difference, I feel that these skills need to be used on those who have long been denied them.
How will you apply this information?
What will you do with what makes you a unique individual? What is the plan. What is your ultimate goal and what steps do you have to take in order to execute it. Have you set yourself a general 5 or 10 year plan?
Are you able to answer all of these questions? Are you able to ask why and seek further understanding? Never be afraid to revisit these questions and ask more why's. Our circumstances and perspectives are ever developing and changing, it is okay to change your mind to reflect these changes. In fact, changing your mind only goes to show that you know yourself well enough to know when you have changed as an individual and require different things from yourself and out of life.
Looking back now, I would say that even though I thought I knew myself very well, the truth is I had only scratched the surface. I knew what I liked, what I didn't like, and what felt right, I even had an idea of what I wanted out of life. I did not however, know what drove me to do the things I do every day, to set the goals that I set for myself. 'It felt right' was my only response to myself. I knew I wanted children, and I knew I wanted a farm, I didn't have any real understanding of why.
You see, it doesn't matter what car you want to drive. The car is material and says only as much about the individual as what lurks beneath the decision. It's all fine and dandy to say that person has a Ferrari, they must be rich but the Ferrari is not who they are as an individual. Why a Ferrari? Is it because of the name? Because they want to seem substantial? Do they want to appear important? Even the answers to those questions do not truly say anything about the person. It's the why.
What drove this person to purchase, this need to display something about them?
What about the guy with a jeep? Yes, a jeep might be a pretty good indication that a person has a propensity for the great outdoors, but why? Is it because they were raised in such a way that encouraged it? Or where the raised in front of a television and refuse to be the person their parents were? Do they go out to have fun, or to leave behind and forget the stresses of a job that confines them to the indoors?
Too often we give ourselves a surface answer, a topical explanation that hardly covers who we are as an individual. Too often, a person grows bored with themselves to ask questions of themselves. They give up at I like red.
Often people around you are asked what they want from life, what drives them, how many of them say I dunno. How many just start listing random things: I want this kind of car, I want a dog, I just want to get through school,how many actually delve into the root of things. Do you?
So, ask yourself, how well do you know yourself? Can you look yourself in the mirror, and give yourself an honest response? How about an estimated percentage?
If the answer leaves room for discovery, if you care to dig deeper and really discover what makes you an individual, I wish you luck. Personally, I feel that we can never truly understand ourselves because there are always new circumstances arising that beg for new why's and new answers.
For those of you who wish to dive in and explore your own psyche but don't know where to start, here are a few things to consider;
What are your passions?
What are you good at, what do you love doing? What makes you happy in life and makes you a unique individual? What sets you apart?
What do you want?
What are your dreams and aspirations? Do you dream of being in a specific house, career, or financial standing?
What are your values?
What do you value and place above all else? What is important to you and guides you when making decisions? What marks the lines you will not cross in order to accomplish your goals? Is it family, friends, religion? Is it honesty, trust, communication? Is it your work ethic, dignity, honour, responsibility? What are your top three values? Which values fall secondary to those?
What drives you?
What inner desire makes you want the things out of life that you want? I want a farm, why? Is it because I get along well with animals and they are just so gosh darn cute? No. It's because I connect well with animals and feel that I can make a difference working with abused and forgotten creatures. It's because I long to feel like I am making a difference in this world and I believe that I have specific talents that can be applied to this goal in order to do so. Yes, patience, understanding, dedication, and perseverance can be used in every day settings, but in order to truly make a difference, I feel that these skills need to be used on those who have long been denied them.
How will you apply this information?
What will you do with what makes you a unique individual? What is the plan. What is your ultimate goal and what steps do you have to take in order to execute it. Have you set yourself a general 5 or 10 year plan?
Are you able to answer all of these questions? Are you able to ask why and seek further understanding? Never be afraid to revisit these questions and ask more why's. Our circumstances and perspectives are ever developing and changing, it is okay to change your mind to reflect these changes. In fact, changing your mind only goes to show that you know yourself well enough to know when you have changed as an individual and require different things from yourself and out of life.
So if you are willing to embark on the adventure of you, be inquisitive. The idea of asking yourself these questions is that at the end of the day you should be able to confidently, and with certainty answer the question “who are you?”. Tomorrow might have a different answer, but for today, you're not the majority who drift on aimlessly uninterested in solving the ongoing puzzle that is self.
Cheers!
The Bra Street Rambler
Show the bra some love!
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