Poker Face; reading the cards she plays.
Guys, you all know there are many ways for a girl to spell the word danger. One of the most notable ways is F-I-N-E. If a girls responds with that single word, or combines it with “I’m”, you know shits about to hit the fan and someone is going to have to save Private Ryan from the dog house.
The fine card is pretty universal among women however, the women in your life each have their own language to look for. Before going into more detail on individualization, here are a few of the more common examples;
- Do whatever you want. - The presence of the word ‘whatever’ in this, and in many other things, usually translates to big ol’ F-U.
- Nothing. – ‘Nothing’ is rarely nothing with a woman, especially if she says the word out loud.
- That’s ok - “But if you do/don’t do this I’m going to ____….”
alternatively
- That’s okayyy… - If the end of the word okay is drawn out in a quieter voice, chances are she’s feeling hurt.
Different words have different meanings for women so it is important to pay careful mind to the way she speaks and the way she messages you. This could mean anything from the way she greets you, to the way she responds to a question, to her use of emoticons.
Example, if she usually makes use of many emoticons but texts are suddenly void of those little smileys, chances are something’s bugging her. She may not realize she is not using them, or she may be doing it intentionally hoping you will notice and ask her what’s wrong. Sometimes girls want to talk but don’t know how to reach out, or are even nervous to do so. Sometimes they don’t and the slip ups are completely sub-conscious. Either way, it doesn’t hurt to let her know that you’ve noticed a difference: “You seem different today, is everything alright?” .
Now normally, I would tell you to just ask for more information about her cues but the sad truth is, in this particular case, it won’t help. If a girl outright tells you her signals, that is if she is even aware of them, she’ll stop using them and you’ll stop having them as a hint. The reason for this is simple, if she knows you know, she may feel like using it again is asking for attention.
Confused? I shall attempt to explain using one of my own tells that I have figured out.
I noticed a while back that whenever I was in a really foul mood, I would greet people on Facebook with “Hi” where I usually would have stuck to my traditional “Hello”. Now, if I said hi and someone took notice thus keeping an eye out for other tells, then asked me about the change in writing style, I would either be relieved that there was suddenly an opening to vent or discuss my problems, or let them know that I didn’t feel like discussing it but still be grateful that someone had taken the time to get to know me well enough to notice such things.
However, if I knew it was because of my use of the word hi, I would be more careful about using that word with them for fear of them thinking I was just looking for attention, that I was expecting them to come to my rescue on cue or word command simply because I know- that they know- that I know- they know all about the word hi.
It’s messed up, but alas, there’s the female mind for you in all its glory.
I can’t tell you what to look for specifically because every person is different with their cues. I can’t tell you that the word hi is a cue because some people always use hi as a greeting, just as someone might use emoticons religiously where it is quite common for someone else to go days without using any only to use them for the following few days. Everyone is different but if you pay enough attention, everyone has trends, habits, or cues and there’s no harm in asking if someone is alright. Better to ask when something is just starting to brew, then to be oblivious until it’s blowing up in your face.
Girls, if you want to try to apply the same observation to guys, the cues may be different and more subtle but not impossible. In my experience, the cues are not specific words so much as the overall effect of drawn out behavior. I often begin to ask questions if a guy I am friends with or dating seems distant for more than a day. Remember, unlike with women, it really could be nothing.
So remember, observe, take note, and get to know each other. I’m sure most of you have already heard the saying that communication is 55% body language, 38% tone of voice, and 7% words, so be on the lookout for more than just the word ‘fine’.
Cheers!
The Bra Street Rambler
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