Chocolate Grenades

Guys, ever walk into a room only to be violently chewed out by the girl you are with?

Girls, ever feel so irritable that even a compliment from your man somehow rubs you the wrong way?

Girls just want a piece of chocolate, and for everything and everyone to just go away. Quite frankly, guys want to make it better for their girls … so long as it doesn’t require going near them….

This is where I always picture a guy peering into a room, pulling the pin from a grenade made entirely of chocolate, and tossing it at the feet of his crazed girlfriend hoping it will somehow exorcise the hormonal demon possessing her. Quite frankly I don’t blame him.

 
Okay, so it’s not all That bad. In truth, there are two types of girls when it comes to hormones. There are those who become batshit crazy, and those who… well they are still crazy but are at least aware of it and choose not to expose others to the madness. Yes, you read that right. Some girls know when it is happening to them, others are oblivious. In that moment, everything they are feeling is completely justified and their reaction is completely proportionate to the injustice inflicted on them.
 
Guys, it would be beneficial to your sanity and survival to distinguish which of these two categories your significant other falls under. Girls, do your man a favor and let him know how aware you believe yourself to be when hormones rear their vicious heads, …and hackles, …and claws.
 
When hormonal Armageddon strikes, you really do want to be prepared, especially knowing it will be occurring every month, or for nine continual months if you find yourselves pregnant. Discuss what works and what does not when everyone is a little more lucid and able to use that 20/20 hindsight. Is she the type who wants to be cuddled? Does she want to be left alone? Is there a chocolate sacrifice to be made to the gods of ovary bloating? Does she feel like someone has wronged her, like the world is out to get her?
 
Remember, no matter the case, if you suspect hormones to be at play and she is feeling very passionate about something that is making her angry or sad, Back.Away.Slowly! Nothing good can come of confrontation, or trying to fix things, when she is in this state. Hormones make everything feel like a bigger deal than they are and chances are slim of you making her feel like they aren’t that bad if she is set on believing they are. Accept this. Be patient. Revisit the issues when it is safe.
 
When the red vision has relinquished its hold and lucidity has returned, discuss exit strategies. Combine what works best for calming her down, with what you are capable of providing. Realistically, are you good at lending a sympathetic ear, or are you more inclined to try and fix her problems? Does she require alone time when she is like that, or does she prefer to have someone there so she doesn’t feel like she is left to face the world alone?

 The Following are just a few options;
“Honey, I am sorry that you are going through this but I am tempted to help you fix your problems and I know that is not what you want from me. I am going to call your friend ____, ask her to come over and bring you some chocolate, and I will go visit ___ so you two have the place to yourselves for a good vent session.” 
OR
“It really sucks that you are going through this, how about we try to distract you with some cuddling and Netflix.” 
OR 
“I’m heading out to the garage for a while so you can blast some music if you want.”
 
We have to make a point to remember that hormone spikes aren’t fun for anyone involved and the only way to get through them is with proper communication and understanding. Girls, explain how it feels when you are feeling emotional, as well as what you need in order to feel better and get through it. Be patient while men try to understand how differently a females mind works. Guys, make sure your girls understand how outbursts make you feel. Yes, I know, the F word, but they are just as good at understanding the way your mind works as you are at understanding theirs. Help each other out.
 
Remember, a little calm communication now has the power to prevent a big hormonal miscommunication later. With the right weapons, we can combat those monstrous mood swings and come out on top. Best of luck to you all!

Cheers!
The Bra Street Rambler

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