Mirror Mirror, …why are you such an ass?

We've all done it, looked in the mirror and yucked even though the day before we were just fine with the way we looked. Some days the mirror is kind, other days it’s about as nice as a dodgeball, …or a wrench. (If you caught the reference and inserted the obvious quote, props to you!)

It doesn't matter how many compliments we may get, or how good we may think we look objectively, we will always find fault with something. I’m too skinny, too flabby, too round, too chipmunk cheeked, not enough muscles, not tall enough, my hair is too thin, my hair is too straight, my hair is too curly, etc. These are often the things that come to mind when we receive a compliment, the things that discredit the flattering things being said about us.
  

We feel as though those paying us praise are just saying nice things to make us feel better. We feel as though it is impossible for them to see the things they compliment us on because that is not what we see when we look at ourselves. Why? Simple. Short of having an identical twin or a clone, we can’t see ourselves the way they do. We are limited to 2D representations such as mirrors, photos, and the screens we see videos of ourselves on. It’s the same reason a photo never does a landscape justice when we take it, the same reason our voice sounds different when we hear it played back on a recording. Perceptions of self are limited in first person. We’re not being done justice and that combined with a person’s natural tendency to be their own worst critic, can leave us in quite a doubtful and skeptical disposition.

Unfortunately, when we find ourselves stuck in these mindsets, very little anyone says will have any impact on it, no matter how honest they are being. Why? Because they are just words and self image is all about how we feel.

This is why we sometimes find our significant others are able to make us feel better where friends and family do not. It is not the words they use that have an influence on the mindset, it is the look in their eyes, the desire and appreciation they express, that make us Feel the weight of their words. However, it’s not enough to depend on the reassurance of a significant other in order to feel better about ourselves and our bodies. Sure, they can help us spark the fire, but we must stoke and nourish it. We must feed it with our own appreciation rather than snuffing it with doubts.

Easier said than done, right? Definitely! Still, it is far from impossible.

We've all heard the expression Don't let it go to your head but I say Do It! It’s all about moderation. This is where I can’t help but picture a gauge divided in three sections: yellow, then green, and finally red. A lot of us find ourselves in the yellow section of Doubt; we may not hate the way we look, but we’re not entirely happy with it either. Allow yourself to let self praise fill your head to level Confidence, but don’t let the arrow reach the red zone of the gauge thus arriving at level Vanity. Let your efforts change the way you think and perceive yourself. Once you've reached the green zone work to maintain it. If you succeed: Achievement Unlocked: Self Esteem!

In order to rest comfortably in the green zone and secure this achievement, we must learn to admire ourselves, to find ways to spot the good and compliment ourselves. We may never love our nose, but we can learn to be okay with it, maybe even like it and we can certainly teach ourselves not to forget to look past it to our eyes which even we can admit are pretty great. We can learn to admire ourselves for our hard work and perseverance by going to the gym and seeing the results, or perhaps for our creativity by doing our hair in fun new ways. We can adjust the way we dress to flatter our specific body types. We can allow ourselves to hear the flattering things people say about us and try to see those characteristics from their perspective. We can learn to command our mindsets and rock our respective looks.

The good things are worth fighting for and a healthy mindset and good self image are definitely among those things. It may take effort and time but if we put forth the effort we will find that one day we are able to wake up in the morning, laugh at our ridiculous bed hair, and smile because regardless of that, we still feel good about the way we look. 

Go forth and make that mirror your bitch!

Cheers!

The Bra Street Rambler

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