A Revolution of Sizemic Proportion

I realize that my posts usually have a little more humor to them but today, I post about something that I find rather serious because I have seen it do harm to people I care a great deal about.

In my last post, I talked about taking control of our own body image but what about society’s impact? We constantly see campaigns in social media arguing over whether it is better to be skinny or voluptuous. People claiming to know what men like best or lashing out because they feel their body type has been attacked. We see the same geared towards the other gender. People claiming that it is better to be muscular, better to be tall, better to have short hair, better to have long hair, that this is what women want a man to look like. We also hear terms such as shallow, pig, and chubby chaser thrown around and geared towards people who are attracted to a specific body type. We see people shaming others left, right, and center.

To those shaming others I say; give it up! Some men like more meat on the bones of the women they are dating, some men prefer a woman who is fit and /or muscular, some prefer women who are petite. None of these females are any less of a woman for being the size or shape they are. None of the men who are attracted to these women are pigs simply because they are honest about their preferences just as none of the girls are shallow for being attracted to the tall dark and handsome male. Some women prefer body-builder figures, some prefer construction worker physics, and some prefer thin and lean. None of these male body types are any less manly. None of the women are stuck up for being honest about what they are attracted to.

Once, years ago, my best friend quoted to me, “Attraction is not a choice.” and after years of struggling with this, for feeling shallow for not being attracted to certain people despite how nice or awesome they were, I have finally accepted this. We are attracted to who we are attracted to. Plain and simple.

This social media mentality telling people what is best and what is preferred is a lie. This I tell you from years of frank discussions with men and women. My female friends and I are constantly laughing about how different our tastes in men are, how there are very few circumstances where our tastes agree on an individual. We laugh and enjoy the fact that it is unlikely that we would ever fight over a guy because we just aren't attracted to the same qualities and characteristics.
 

The same can be said about my discussions with men. I have some male friends who are absolutely adamant that a woman who is fit and muscular with abs is the absolute sexiest thing they could lay eyes on. Other friends within the same social circle are one hundred percent attracted to women with curves, and a lot of curves at that. Others, prefer very petite girls, short and skinny that they can easily wrap their arms around.
  

If you do not believe this, and why would you if you haven't had these discussions yourself, ask five people of each gender what physical characteristics they are attracted to. Note the variety for yourself. Personally, I have yet to get one weird look for bringing this up with my friends during discussions because most people have no problem sharing this information provided they do not feel as though they will be judged for it.
  

Accept that everyone is different. There is a vast variety of body types in the world and just as vast a variety of tastes to accommodate. No one should be shamed for their body type, just as no one should be shamed for their personal attraction.
  

As for fat shaming, honestly, just as sincerely as I believe all that I have said above, I believe this too needs to end. Just because someone is larger, does not mean they are not beautiful or handsome to someone or that they are oh so very unhealthy. Even if it is to the point of being unhealthy, to those doing the shaming I have one go-to question;
  

“Is it hurting you?”

No. If I am in a room with someone who is obese, even if they are morbidly obese, it is not harming my health. I may not be personally attracted to that person, but I have no right to put that person down. I do not know if they have struggled with their weight, I do not know if there is a medical reason for their weight. I have not walked in their shoes. For all I know, they have been going to the gym and have even made progress. In any case, it is absolutely none of my business. If I am not attracted to that man or woman, there is nothing wrong with that but it gives me no right to berate and belittle them.
  

Again, the same can be said about those who are thin. Joking that they may have anorexia, or that they do not eat, can be just as hurtful. I have many a slim friend who are capable of eating just as much as me on some days. Metabolism is a real thing. High metabolisms can make it very difficult for a man or woman to gain weight and constantly being told they need to eat more, as though there is something wrong with them, does nothing to change their weight but goes a long way in damaging their self esteem.
  

Treating others as though they have a definite choice in their body type, treating people as though they should be ashamed of themselves, is not only wrong, but again, it is nobody's business. Those who shame, are not living in the shoes of those being shamed, they do not know the story behind the size.
 

To those who feel as though they have been shamed by others, no matter size, no matter attraction, we are all people. We are all real people with real stories. Find a way to love who you are, find a way to be true to your attractions, and try your best to ignore the shamers. No matter what they throw at you, you are the better person for going about your life and letting others go about theirs.

I am a firm believer that our choices in life, so long as they are not harming others, are no ones business but our own. So let us end the shaming, let us live and let live.

Cheers!

The Bra Street Rambler

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